5 Steps to Banish Client Fear
The Fear Monster roams again! Keep reading for 5 steps to banish fear and get 2 JFP articles with the step-by-step for productive client conversations.
Fear Makes Humans Stupid
1: Be Ready for Stupid
Fear overwhelms the rational centers of the brain. It literally makes humans stupid. Remember when clients are operating out of fear, they will have a much harder time:
- Understanding what you say
- Remembering what you said
- Following up on recommendations
Get ready for this reality. It’ll be much less frustrating, when you’re prepared to do lots of repeating and reminding.
Emotion: Deal with IT!
2: Face Emotion First
When emotions are high the rational centers of the brain shut down (why we get stupid). Emotion does not:
- Care about reason
- Respond to objectivity
- Calm down with rational discussion
The only way around emotion is to face it head on, first.
Get it Out - Get it ALL Out
3: Get the Emotion Up & Out
Pent up fears run the brain until they are purged out. Emotional release is the path to reason. Here’s how:
- Ask emotion focused questions
- Ask more open-ended questions (get it all out)
- Acknowledge, reflect & summarize what you hear (Caution: do NOT agree to a falsehood)
- Normalize the feelings
Keep going until they’ve vented all the fears and worries.
Don't Be Fooled by Anger
4: Anger is a Shield from Pain
Anger is a protective shield against emotional pain. Don’t be fooled by any anger that comes out. The source emotion is something deeper than the anger, most likely anxiety or fear. When you get anger:
- Acknowledge the feelings
- Ask more open-ended questions to uncover more
- Acknowledge, reflect & summarize what you hear (Caution: do NOT agree to a falsehood)
- Normalize the feelings
Keep going until they’ve vented all the anger and revealed the source anxieties. Yes, you are doing more venting of feelings, as needed. The goal is to get past the surface anger and uncover fears beneath. Otherwise, you’re stuck with the Rage Monster, and that is uglier than the Fear Monster.
OMG! Really? Yes! Really
5: Only after All this…Try a Shift to Reason
By now you probably want to give up. All this emotion? Do I have to roll around in all this emotion? Yes, really! People don’t like to appear “out of control” or “crazy”. They’re not likely to reveal just how afraid they are, at first.
That’s the danger. Hidden fears will control the client far more than you expect. You can talk reason at them, and they may look like they are agreeing. But, if not resolved, fear will rule over reason. Then, you have to start all over. Sound familiar?
After the fears are completely flushed out, you can try to shift to reason. You’ll notice the moment when the clients are looking more relieved and less tense. The process of venting emotion, having someone acknowledge it and normalize it, is very relieving. You’ll notice it in the body language.
Now Do Reason...IF They are Ready
The main point of this post is to focus on releasing fear, first. The rest of the steps can be found in my full articles from Journal of Financial Planning.
Even better, contact me for guidelines on your specific situation. Because.……if we accidentally reinforce the fears rather than releasing them, the whole thing will really blow up!
Download full articles from Journal of Financial Planning:
